Those Phrases given by A Dad That Rescued Me as a New Father

"I believe I was merely trying to survive for a year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey thought he would to manage the difficulties of becoming a dad.

Yet the reality rapidly proved to be "utterly different" to what he'd imagined.

Life-threatening health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was thrust into acting as her chief support as well as caring for their infant son Leo.

"I was doing all the nights, every change… every stroll. The duty of both parents," Ryan explained.

Following nearly a year he burnt out. It was a talk with his father, on a bench in the park, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The simple statement "You're not in a healthy space. You need assistance. What can I do to assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and start recovering.

His situation is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. Although the public is now more accustomed to addressing the stress on mothers and about post-natal depression, less is said about the difficulties fathers encounter.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan believes his difficulties are symptomatic of a wider inability to open up between men, who often internalise negative notions of masculinity.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just gets hit and remains standing every time."

"It isn't a show of being weak to seek help. I was too slow to do that quick enough," he clarifies.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to acknowledge they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - especially in front of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental state is just as important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the space to request a respite - spending a short trip overseas, away from the domestic setting, to get a fresh outlook.

He understood he had to make a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotional states in addition to the practical tasks of caring for a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she was yearning" -holding her hand and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan sees fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo weekly letters about his feelings as a dad, which he wishes his son will read as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will assist his son to more fully comprehend the vocabulary of emotion and understand his parenting choices.

The concept of "self-parenting" is something artist Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen lacked stable male a father figure. Despite having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, deep-held difficult experiences meant his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says suppressing emotions caused him to make "terrible choices" when he was younger to modify how he was feeling, finding solace in drink and drugs as a way out from the anguish.

"You gravitate to things that don't help," he explains. "They can temporarily change how you feel, but they will in the end make things worse."

Advice for Managing as a New Father

• Share with someone - if you feel swamped, speak to a family member, your partner or a therapist about your state of mind. This can to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Remember your hobbies - continue with the things that helped you to feel like the person you were before becoming a parent. Examples include going for a run, meeting up with mates or gaming.
• Don't ignore the body - a good diet, staying active and where possible, sleep, all play a role in how your mind is doing.
• Connect with other parents in the same boat - listening to their experiences, the challenges, as well as the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're experiencing things.
• Understand that requesting help isn't failing - looking after yourself is the most effective way you can support your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen naturally struggled to accept the passing, having had no contact with him for years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his child and instead offer the stability and nurturing he lacked.

When his son is about to have a meltdown, for example, they do "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the feelings constructively.

Both Ryan and Stephen state they have become more balanced, healthier men since they faced their issues, transformed how they communicate, and figured out how to manage themselves for their sons.

"I'm better… dealing with things and handling things," explains Stephen.

"I expressed that in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan says. "I expressed, sometimes I feel like my purpose is to guide and direct you what to do, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I'm learning as much as you are through this experience."